Friday, September 10, 2010

His love never ends

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Romans 5:8

God's plans for us are perfect.  All the time.

Back in July I felt like God was asking me not renew the lease on my apartment in Philly.  At that time I really didn't know why.  I thought that maybe He just wanted me to commute from home.  I would be saving a lot of money my last two years of college, and I wouldn't have as many loans to pay back when I graduated.  So I made the decision to move home, not knowing God's purpose and plan for putting it on my heart at that time. 

A few weeks later I was on vacation with my family.  One night I was praying and I felt like God was asking me to sell the ticket for the music festival I attend at the end of the summer.  This festival sold out in 2 days and I was lucky enough to even have a ticket.  I would never have thought about selling my ticket.  Still, God made it clear I needed to sell it and ask my boss if I could work a festival that weekend.  I messaged a friend and within minutes the ticket was sold and I texted my boss to see if he would let me instead work that weekend.  What did I just do?  This is what I had been looking forward to all summer, and I just sold it without really even thinking twice about it.  Again, God had a purpose behind this that I wouldn't understand until a few weeks later.

God started to break me in ways I had never been broken before.  I didn't understand it.  I began to feel like God was calling me back to Uganda sooner.  I didn't know why or what for.  The kids were being taken care of, He is their protector.  I had school in the Fall.  I wouldn't be able to go back for another year at least.  So why this unbearable yearning to be back, after I had been home for 4 or 5 months?  Because of this I decided that I would not make the decision to head back until God made it clear that it is where He wanted me.  I did not want to head back to Uganda just because I missed it. So I emailed Danyne, the director at Amani.  I asked her about the sponsorship idea Megan and I had proposed in the Spring.  I remember telling God after I sent that email, "If she emails me back and asks me to start the program, I will know it is your will.  If I don't hear from her, I'll know it is not my time to head back". 

Three weeks went by and I hadn't heard from Danyne.  I was broken.  I was confused.  I didn't understand why I was supposed to stay here if God hadn't given me a peace about it. In the beginning of August I went down to Washington D.C. to visit Meg. It was the first time I had visited with her since we had been in Uganda together back in April.  That Saturday afternoon we were sitting at our first fundraising booth selling some of the crafts we had left over.  Toward the end of the day I got an email sent to my phone.  "From: Danyne Randolph".  I couldn't believe it.  With hands shaking I read the email.  She asked when I would be able to come back to Uganda, and if I would be able to call her Father and talk over details.  This is what God had been preparing me for.  This is why He put it on my heart to move out of the apartment, and sell those tickets.  I wouldn't be living in Philadelphia this next year, and I would need that extra money I made that weekend to purchase a plane ticket back.  He used my weakness so that I would rely on Him.  He didn't allow me to get too comfortable being back home because He was preparing me to go back.

Megan and I spoke to Corky.  He seemed very interested in the idea behind the sponsorship program.  I wrote up a rather lengthy proposal.  I was given the go-ahead to purchase my plane ticket, and the next day I did.  I basically emptied my bank account of all the money I had saved over the summer.  I wasn't sure how God was going to provide the rest of the money I would need in such a short amount of time.  I would need to raise about $3,000 in 6 weeks.  It sounded crazy, but I knew that if God wanted me there, He would provide.  I wrote emails, support letters, and I spoke briefly at my church about what I was going to be doing when I went back.  After only 4 weeks, God had provided all the money I would need, in addition to $500 to start the sponsorship program.  God is so good. He provided beyond any expectation.  He has continually left me in awe of His faithfulness.


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